Grant's feeding issues are getting worse. He is refusing nearly all food when he is awake, and he is taking less in his sleep. I used to keep track of his intake, but since deciding on the feeding tube, I have stopped. It was just so stressful to see how little he actually eats. If I had to estimate how much he is taking in a day, I would guess around 15 ounces. Even though he is making the decision to get the feeding tube easier by having no more good days, I am still struggling. I'm not scared for the surgery itself, but more what life is going to be like after the feeding tube. There are so many unknowns about what is going to happen, and I won't have all the answers until after the surgery. I know that the feeding tube is the right decision, but I can't help wondering if I am doing the right thing.
Lately at every diaper change I lift up his shirt and look at his perfect little belly and kiss it. I am sad that soon there will be a tube sticking out of his cute little belly.
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